Side: Steve
My day as a goblin—Steve—starts at 7:00 in the morning.
The alarm clock rings, and in response, I reach my hand out from the bed and turn it off.
For a while... Well, I can't really tell you exactly how long that "while" lasts, but for me, there's always a brief struggle in bed between getting up and sleeping just a little longer.
Unlike Boss, I don't have a family to support, so this kind of alone time is basically free and flexible.
...Boss has it tough, doesn't he?
Waking up at six every morning to make breakfast for all his wives... Even after hearing what Killue-neesan, who used to be a maid, has told me, I still think that's completely insane.
The maids get up even earlier than that and start working. Well, I don't need a maid myself... If I'm sleeping while everyone around me is scurrying around working, I wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully.
Oh, right. Did I have anything for breakfast?
Hmm... did I buy an extra boxed lunch yesterday?
I think John gave me some leftover vegetables, too?
"...Sleepy."
First, to shake off the sleepiness, I go to wash my face.
I go to the washroom, turn the faucet, let the water run, scoop it in my hands, and splash it onto my face.
After repeating this a few times, I turn off the water and wipe my face with a prepared towel.
"Yeah... I'm feeling a little more awake now-su."
I put the towel into the washing machine and return to the living room.
Then, I change into my work clothes hanging on the rack.
I really have to thank Boss for these work clothes. If I had to match this world's standards, it would be an absolute nightmare with all the decorations, medals, badges, and other useless stuff getting in the way.
Boss's work clothes are a military uniform, but they're based on the clothing from his homeland, with practicality as the top priority.
It's not overly decorated; it has only the bare minimum. Even in this uniform, there's no issue equipping combat gear immediately. The indicators showing rank are just on the collar and shoulders, and things like medals only need to be worn for ceremonies. Because medals are just in the way, honestly.
Well, officially, I'm a General of the monster army, and I also serve as the captain of the monster unit in the Security Division of the police.
Ah, naturally, the human side is handled by Tori-neesan, Riel-neesan, and Kaya-neesan. They're the top brass of the police. You could call it an operational partnership, or rather an emergency title when they're short-handed in the security division.
Anyway, because of that connection, since I am a General, I do need to attach a few medals and badges.
Just the bare minimum, though.
"...Huh? My medals aren't on."
Oh, right... I'd taken them off when I washed the uniform.
The military uniform I planned to wear today didn't have the medals attached.
Well, it's just my spare uniform, different from the one I wore yesterday, so naturally they weren't attached.
"Ugh. What a pain."
Thinking that, I open the drawer of my desk, take out the medals, and hurriedly attach them.
Even though there aren't that many medals and insignia I actually need to wear, there are still a ton of medals sitting inside cases in the drawer where I keep them.
"...Boss really loves taking things too far-su."
Well, it's not like he's just playing around, but based on his hometown's traditions, there are badges awarded for completing various training courses.
And I have taken every single training course Boss has come up with. Which means I possess almost all the qualification badges. Airborne Badge, Marksmanship Badge, and even a Magic Descent Badge for completing a magic-based no-bungee jump training course that can only be done in this world.
As for medals, they're naturally proof of merit for past successful operations. Take the recent battle against Ground Zero and the Holy Sword Wielder. Well, it didn't turn into a real battle, but since we worked hard, we're scheduled to receive medals later. I've also received medals for various minor achievements.
It's not just us, though; Seraria-neesan's direct human military force has received plenty of medals too.
People like Qual-san, for example.
It's not that they were more active than us, but for a rising nation, having this kind of prestige is necessary, or so I'm told. Well, as for Qual-san, her direct superior is Seraria-neesan, so I think just surviving under her deserves a medal on its own... Though, that's something I can never say out loud.
Oh, and the medals themselves are, naturally, made by the Weed Blacksmith Guild. Apparently, the blacksmiths, led by Narjia-san, listen to Boss's explanations about the medals and badges, then design them accordingly.
"All right, let's see if there's anything in the fridge..."
After finishing attaching the medals, I leave my jacket aside and check for breakfast.
I'd eaten all the bread yesterday morning, and I had a bento for dinner.
"Hmm. Nothing."
I was busy yesterday, so I forgot to go shopping.
I look up at the wall clock.
The current time is 7:17 AM and work starts at 9:00 AM.
Well, as a General, I ought to be at the workplace around 8:30 AM, though.
"I've got time. Guess I'll head over to Super Ratz to grab some breakfast."
It's fine if I can't eat, but in our line of work, we might get called out to battle suddenly without knowing when the next meal will be, so eating whenever possible is a soldier's basic rule.
So I put on my jacket with its medals and insignia and head toward the entrance.
Every time I walk down this hallway to the entrance, I think about it: A 3LDK apartment is way too big for just one person.
For the record, we monsters are granted human rights here in Weed, so we can rent ordinary homes and cook for ourselves. Ah, naturally, that's assuming we can properly communicate with humans.
The animal-type monsters that can't speak mostly live peacefully in the forest where Princess Aslin often plays, enjoying a natural life. The forest itself is located on the same level as the residential district, where they also serve as security for civilians.
Particularly, they act as playmates for the school kids. Other than that, they serve as sparring partners in the Adventurer District or patrol the Dungeon District. So even though those animal-type monsters can't talk, they're surprisingly useful.
As for monsters like me who can speak and live in human society, naturally we need somewhere to live. But because of my position, unlike the others who live in military barracks, I've been given a proper residence.
Naturally, John and Mino-chan got their own places too. Slakichi-san apparently prefers living in nature, so he doesn't have a house. His primary habitat is the school.
Hah... to be honest, dealing with neighbors is a hassle, so I would've preferred dorm life...
Thinking that, I leave my apartment, lock the door, and exit the building.
"Good morning, Steve-san! Work hard today!"
"Morning-su! Take care too, uncle!"
"Ara? Steve-chan, good morning."
"Good morning-su!"
"Ah, it's General Steve!"
"Hey, address him as Steve-sama! I'm so sorry!"
"No, no, don't worry about it-su! You study hard at school too, kiddo!"
"Okaaaay!"
Exchanging morning greetings like that, I walk through Weed.
Super Ratz should be coming into view soon. It's the only store in Weed that opens as early as 6:00 AM.
Ratz-anesan started doing this exclusively in the residential district about three months ago, hoping to attract customers in the morning.
Apparently, she's aiming to eventually make it open 24 hours a day.
However, she's been having heated meetings with Tori-neessan and the others because operating late at night would create various dangers from the standpoint of security.
Personally, I'm in favor of it. Work often drags into the late hours, and unlike Boss, I can't just pop things out with DP, so having a place to buy stuff anytime would be a lifesaver.
Of course, if we were providing security for a store operating late at night, we'd obviously have to dispatch monsters. Plenty of us have better night vision than humans, after all.
"Oh—it's open, it's open."
Standing before me is Weed's largest store, Super Ratz.
A rich selection, polite customer service, and a reliable ally for housewives. Of course, it's also a convenient spot for single guys to grab a quick boxed lunch.
There are a decent number of customers. Still, compared to how crowded it gets in the evening, it's pretty quiet.
Still, just as Ratz-neesan predicted, people are coming, so opening earlier in the morning was definitely the right call.
I immediately step inside Super Ratz and head straight for the boxed lunch section.
For breakfast, I'll grab an onigiri or a sandwich, and for lunch, I'll buy a boxed lunch to cover today's meals all at once. Anyway, there's only tea in the office fridge, so bringing a pre-bought boxed lunch to keep cool there is my usual routine.
"All right. Now I just need drinks."
After choosing breakfast and lunch, I head for the drinks.
As a single guy living alone, I don't have the energy to prepare drinks at home. Without a family to support, my wallet has plenty of room, so buying drinks is my standard approach.
Naturally, to save money—or rather, to keep from running out immediately—I mostly buy liter bottles of tea. I buy one and drink it over a few days. Well, occasionally, I do fill up a plastic bottle with tea to bring along, though.
"Oya? if it isn't Steve?"
"Huh?"
While I'm looking at the drinks, someone suddenly calls out to me.
I turn toward the voice and see Ratz-neesan standing there.
She's the owner of Super Ratz, the commercial representative, Boss's wife, and the mother of one child.
"Why are you here so early in the morning-su?"
At this hour, she should be having a relaxing breakfast with Boss and the others.
"Ah, I wanted to introduce a new product, so I finished breakfast quickly and came here. Of course, my darling and I were completely head-over-heels as usual! I even gave little Shance a proper kiss goodbye before leaving!"
"...I see."
Ratz-neesan is great at math and business, but she's totally head-over-heels for Boss.
Even after having a child, that hasn't changed a bit... Not that I have anything against Shance-chan... She's undeniably cute after all...
But listening to Ratz-neesan talk makes me feel like I'm going to turn into a sugar dispenser.
...Wait? Didn't she just say something weird?
"A new product?"
"Yes, a new product!"
She sets down the box she's carrying, takes out its contents, and holds them right in front of me.
The plastic bottle itself was obtained through DP, but the packaging looks somewhat awkward.
"Is this... something you made yourselves?"
"Exactly!! We borrowed technology from Onii-san's homeland, but except for the plastic bottle, it's a completely original product produced by us!"
"Oohh!"
That's pretty impressive.
This slightly awkward paper label must have been designed on a computer by someone in Weed.
...However, my sharp intuition knows no bounds.
A completely new product. That's fine, but the liquid inside is transparent green.
My danger sensors are ringing loud and clear-su!
"...What flavor is that-su?"
I carefully ask.
"Well, since it's green, it's cucumber flavor! And it's carbonated!"
"...I-I see."
That was all I could answer.
It's obviously a disaster product.
Cucumber-flavored carbonated drink... That's an apocalypse in a bottle.
"You see, adding just a bit of lemon transforms plain water, right? Taking inspiration from that, I received various vegetables grown by John and created this! It's a healthy beverage!"
So that damn vegetarian was the cause!?
I have to do something about this.
If they stock such a disaster product—Super Ratz's reputation will plummet!
"Actually, we started selling it two days ago, and the popularity is incredible! Production can't keep up! For now, I'm personally delivering the batch I managed to produce."
"Huh?"
What did she just say?
It's selling?
I must have misheard-su.
"Did you just say... it's selling?"
"Yes. It's selling very well. The novelty probably helps, but the contents are literally vegetables. And we've separated them by type, so they're especially popular with women who care about health and beauty."
"Ah. I see."
Since it's using real fruit juice—it has authenticity and appeals to that crowd.
Fear the power of women.
"So, why not buy one? They'll sell out quickly."
"Eh? Sure, in that case..."
I'll just give this cucumber flavor Ratz-neesan handed me to that vegetarian later... Oh, they're selling tomato and plain lemon water too! Then I'll take this one.
Finally, I grab a liter bottle of tea, pay at the counter, and head toward the office.
* * *
The time is around 8:20 AM.
The executives will gather soon, so I'd better put these in the fridge quickly.
I'll eat breakfast while talking with them.
As I'm stuffing items into the fridge, the executives walk into the office.
"Mornin'~"
Entering with a casual greeting is Slakichi-san.
I'm used to it by now, but he opens the door so skillfully using his squishy body... Also, I still have no idea where that voice comes from every single time.
"Man, a shower after morning farm work feels amazing!"
Next is the towel-draped vegetarian.
I don't care about this guy. He's a disgrace to orcs who can be fully described by the single word "vegetarian".
"Let's do our best today too-be."
Finally, Mino-chan the Blood Minotaur.
Just like Kuro-chan and the others, he uses size manipulation to shrink down to human scale.
Originally, he was about 3 to 5 meters tall, so he wouldn't fit into the office otherwise. During negotiations with Enaria, he deliberately remained in his original size for strategic reasons.
"Everyone's here-su. Shall we start the morning meeting?"
The morning meeting is for reviewing yesterday's reports and sharing today's schedule.
Since we're all executives, knowing each other's movements beforehand is important for various reasons.
"Same as yesterday for me—looking after the kids at school."
"I'm assisting Mino-chan."
"I'm workin' on buildin' friendly relations over in Enaria-be."
"Business as usual-su. Mino-chan, make sure any contact regarding John goes through subordinates. Doing it directly might leak important info or expose our abilities and connections-su."
"""Understood!"""
After that response, all eyes turn to me.
"What about you, Steve? Book hunting with Zargis like usual?"
"Nope, unfortunately, I'm on a different assignment starting today-su."
"A different assignment?"
John tilts his head in confusion.
"Ah, takin' care of that Holy Sword Wielder named Alfin, right-be?"
"...That's correct-su."
Nodding at Mino-chan's answer, I take a bite of my sandwich.
"Come to think of it, that Holy Sword Wielder took a liking to Steve, didn't she? Princess Aslin and Princess Filia are with her too, so isn't it fine?"
"That's the only saving grace-su. Spare me from taking care of women, honestly."
"Listen to you... Are those really the words of a guy who claims he wants a girlfriend?"
"Then you take over-su! You take care of a woman who could potentially become mentally unstable if you make even one wrong move."
"Sorry, I'll pass."
"She sure looks like a beauty, though-be."
"Because she's a beauty, it's all the more reason to be careful."
"""Agreed."""
Everyone agrees with Slakichi-san's words.
With her albino appearance and background, she's likely the type who was driven out by people.
"Since it was Steve instead of Princess Aslin and the girls, it must be pretty deep. Boss's decision makes sense. Well, we'll back you up, so let us know if anything comes up."
"Yeah. Even I can't tease you about this one. Hang in there, Steve."
"This kind of thing takes patience-be. Speaking of which, how are Boss and the others movin' today-be?"
"Ah, it was delayed by a day, but as planned, they're heading to the Kingdom of August today-su. The main goal regarding the Holy Sword Wielders is to settle things down for now."
"I see. Well, except for the first two we captured and the last one, the rest are oozing hostility."
"When I heard how the first two were captured, I thought it was awful, but seeing this, maybe Boss's way was better after all."
"Four hundred years of resentment runs deep-be. Let's just say Boss is amazing for blowing that all away."
Just as Mino-chan says, we should consider Boss in a league of his own.
Now then, the time is past 9:10 AM.
The various departments should be starting their work by now.
"Well, time for us to disband and start working too... Ah, almost forgot."
I walk over to the fridge and place those healthy drinks Ratz-neesan recommended in front of the three of them.
"What's this?"
John tilts his head, inspecting the plastic bottle.
Naturally, it's the cucumber flavor-su.
"Ah, isn't this that healthy drink everyone's talking about in Weed? Ratz-neesan said she developed it independently in Weed and built a production line for it."
"I've heard about it-be. Wait, why don't you know about it, John? I heard the vegetables were supplied by you-be."
"Come to think of it, I feel like she mentioned something like that. Well, as long as the vegetables are being put to good use, that's great. Anyway, they all seem to be different flavors. Steve, can you tell which is which?"
"John's is cucumber flavor, Slakichi-san's is tomato flavor, and Mino-chan's is carrot flavor-su."
"FOR REAL?! A CUCUMBER DRINK?! I'm gonna chug this whole thing! Sorry I can't offer a taste test, but bear with me this time!"
"""NOBODY WANTS IT!"""
Yep.
Our hearts became one-su.
Now then, time to really work hard for the day.
* * *
"Ah, it's Steve! Good morning~"
"Steve, good morning!"
"Making ladies wait is terrible manners. Good morning, Steve."
"Good morning, Steve-san."
Waiting in front of the school is the quartet of little kids.
Well, in terms of height, I'm only slightly taller than them-su.
...I'm a goblin, so being small can't be helped.
"Good morning-su. By the way, where is Alfin-san?"
That's right.
The person I'm supposed to be looking after, Alfin-san, is nowhere to be seen.
Currently, Alfin-san is under Designated Protection, so to teach her basic common sense in Weed, she's been given lodging in the school dormitories.
By the way, this is the most luxurious treatment among all the Holy Sword Wielders.
Even Sia and Kishua—who Boss made dance naked—aren't under Designated Protection; Seraria-neesan and Peace are currently instructing them.
Though the main reason is simply that Alfin doesn't seem likely to harm the people of Weed. The other Holy Sword Wielders are radiating hostility, and there's no telling what they might do, so they're cooling their heads in solitary confinement.
That's why it's only natural that we're being cautious about establishing a friendly relationship with Alfin-san, who could serve as our very first breakthrough.
"Alfin-oneechan is playing with everyone right now."
As I'm thinking about that, Princess Aslin points in a certain direction.
There, I see Alfin-san playing together with the young orphans who live in the school's dormitory.
"She looks like she's having fun."
"Alfin-neesama has been really popular since yesterday!"
"Yes. When they told her she was beautiful because she was so white, she couldn't hide her happiness."
"Yuki-san told me that it isn't a curse, but a type of condition called albinism... Even I had such thoughts cross my mind. Alfin-san must have endured some very painful days."
"But nobody here bullies her just because she's white!"
"That's right! Everyone gets along!"
"Choosing this place was actually a perfect decision. These children are gathered here, and they're practically the same as Alfin was when she was little."
"Yes. Let's work together so that she can live peacefully from now on. And, of course, Steve is the key."
"Me?"
"Yes. The person she was closest to was a goblin who spoke just like you. That's why she trusts Steve the goblin more than anyone else. I'm not saying you're on Yuki's level, but show her what kind of man you are."
Please don't compare me to Boss.
"Ah, and if you use this as an excuse to try anything funny with Alfin, I'll cut it off, got it?"
"We'll chop it off!"
"Forcing her is no good, okay?"
"Castration would also be unavoidable."
"I'M NOT DOING THAT-SU!!"
While we're having this conversation, Alfin-san seems to notice us.
She says goodbye to the children and exchanges promises to meet again before running over to us.
"Sorry. Did I keep you waiting?"
"It's okay. Did you have fun too, Grado?"
『Un. I made lots of friends.』
"That's good to hear."
Having been taught how to become smaller by Kuro-chan and the others, Grado running over at about one meter is fine. No matter how you look at it he's just a big lizard.
However, while Alfin and Aslin's group were talking harmoniously, I silently stared at one point—Alfin-san's chest.
I wasn't looking at her well-shaped breasts, which could be called ample.
I'm staring at the familiar translucent creature nestled between her arm and chest.
"...What are you doing?"
"...Dunno. While playing with the children I got collected."
Haa, well whatever.
Looks like the damage will be split thanks to this.
"Ah, Goblin-san... I mean, Steve! Look at this, it seems to be a monster called a slime! I haven't seen them much before, but they even act as babysitters in Weed! That's amazing! Plus, it's so squishy and feels great!"
"Is that so-su? That's great to hear. Looks like that slime is happy too, so let's take him along for the tour of Weed."
"Is that really okay!?"
"Yep, no problem at all-su."
Fufu, Slakichi-san. Let us suffer together, shall we?
You promised you'd help me, didn't you?
"Hey, wait, you—!?"
Now then, where should we show her around Weed first?
