Side: Steve
"Haah..."
Another day, another whole day spent in the library alone with a gloomy guy.
And this was the royal capital of Jilva, on the New Continent.
Even if I wanted to look for a romantic encounter, the status of a goblin on this new continent is lower than that of a slave. We're disposable supplies.
Well, I guess it was the same everywhere outside Weed.
The last time I went to help out at Mino-chan's place, some crazy beautiful girl named Aegil nearly dissected me... Why is it that I never get any good encounters?
"Haaaaah..."
I let out another deep sigh.
Zargis, who was sitting beside me and researching something in a book, finally reacted.
"...I'm the one who should be sighing here. If you're tired of reading, why don't you go train the soldiers or something?"
"No way-ssu. The King of Jilva keeps asking me to serve him whenever he gets the chance, you know? Every time I turn him down, I get painful stares from all the other bigwigs."
"Ah, I get that. The same thing happens to me. Even though it was for magic research, I suppose I taught them too much too easily. As expected, common sense really varies by region."
"That's why I'm helping you with your research instead."
"No, I understand why you are engaged in research, but that doesn't explain your sigh, does it? The recruitment attempts are nuisance to me as well, after all."
"Ah—well, uh, you know... that..."
"That?"
Damn it. This is why research nerds are such a pain-ssu!
Can't you at least figure out why I'm sighing!?
"...I was just thinking how nice it'd be to have a good romantic encounter."
A brief silence followed.
"Ah, that again? How pointless."
Zargis said flatly and immediately returned his gaze to his book.
I was so taken aback by his reaction that my eyes went blank, and I was left speechless.
"That's harsh!? Zargis, this is the part where you're supposed to comfort me, right!?"
I somehow regained my senses and raised my voice in protest.
Yes, this is goblin abuse. Honestly, I question his humanity!
To treat a heartbroken goblin with such an attitude... it's practically inhuman-ssu!!
"Who would comfort you? Steve's heartbreak has practically become part of the daily routine."
"You're treating it like a daily occurrence!? I'm not that indiscriminate with women-ssu!"
What kind of perception is that!?
How can a shut-in researcher know so much about my personal affairs!?
I mean, it's not like I'm admitting that I keep striking out!
"...Even a shut-in researcher goes out into Weed town at least a little."
"Whoa!? Did you just read my mind!?"
Damn it. So he wasn't just a research nerd. He's a Demon Race for a reason!!
"...You seem to be thinking something extremely unpleasant, but we are talking about you right now, Steve."
"Hm?"
"You have a look on your face that says you don't understand. If I walk around Weed, naturally I gather information in town. Yuki often says that inspiration comes from familiar places or areas you wouldn't normally be interested in. Therefore, I listen to rumors at my usual bar. The bartender often tells me about how some goblin general came there to drown his sorrows after yet another failed romance."
"W-Wait a minute!! That bar is..."
"The one located on the back street of Weed's 4th Entertainment District."
"GYAAAAAHHHHH!? How do you know about that secret spot!? The Boss built that bar as a private hobby, you know!? He even asked Ratz-neesan, Eris-neesan, and Milly-neesan for permission to build it!!"
That bar is completely different from a regular tavern.
It's more like... a high-class bar where you go to enjoy the atmosphere.
Milly-neesan was on board with the idea from the beginning and teamed up with Narjia-san to make it. Apparently, Ratz-neesan and Eris-neesan weren't very enthusiastic about it at first, so the Boss begged them, literally using his body as payment to secure the shop space.
Of course, since they had no real-world experience, they made cocktails using knowledge researched off the internet. Even so, thanks to the vast gap between our civilizations, it easily became a well-known, high-end hidden gem called "Snow Bar."
"Snow" is just the English translation of the Boss's name, "Yuki". Pretty straightforward, right?
So how on earth did this shut-in find out about it!?
To confirm the truth, I glared at Zargis, the shut-in himself, but...
"Well, Yuki directly told me about it because he wanted my feedback."
"DAMN IT!!"
Figures!!
There's no way I was the only one who knew about it-ssu!!
The big sisters come there too, after all. There'd be no reason for them to keep it a secret from Zargis!
Then, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
...Come to think of it, isn't this research nerd in the same boat as me?
He should be a fellow unpopular guy.
"Can I ask you something?"
I should just ask directly.
I'd never heard any rumors about Zargis being involved with women.
In other words—almost certainly—this guy is unpopular!!
"...What is it?"
A slightly suspicious gaze pierced through me.
However, assuming that suspicious look was just him enduring the pain of being single, I felt a strange sense of kinship.
"You're single, right, Zargis?"
When I asked, Zargis looked like he was about to cry.
Ah, so we were comrades after all!
"...Yes, I am indeed single."
"I knew it!!"
Just as I was about to say "My friend!!", Zargis continued.
"I'm divorced twice."
"Huh?"
That broke my language comprehension.
What did he say? 'Divorced twice'?
Batsu Twice... "Punished Twice"?
In other words, he'd been punished twice?
Well, since he was constantly failing as one of the Four Heavenly Kings, it wouldn't be surprising if Demon King Liliana handed down all sorts of severe punishments.
He destroyed the Fairy Village on his own authority, and in the end, got captured by us. That must have been rough. Well, I often get scolded by Seraria-neesan and Eris-neesan, too.
Seraria-neesan tells me to take our sword sparring more seriously. My combat style is Gun an Sword—a stylish fighting style—but Seraria-neesan goes straight for hardcore fantasy, so she demands sword-only matches.
Since Seraria-neesan lives and breathes the sword, her skill is arguably the best in Weed. My sword skills are only meant to be combined with a gun, so I'm a bit lacking compared to her. Because of that, a sword-only match isn't really fair to begin with. But since she knows my full capabilities, whenever I lose, she gets mad at me for not taking it seriously.
Well, lately Seraria-neesan has begun to understand the usefulness of firearms and is starting to learn how to use them.
The reason, of course, is that the Boss taught her hand-in-hand, step-by-step, and hip-to-hip.
...Damn him!!
Next, Eris-neesan.
How does Eris-neesan get mad?
You rarely see it at the inn or in public, but work-mode Eris-neesan is an entirely different beast — The Accounting Demon.
The top of the department that holds the entire budget of Weed. Also known as the LAST BOSS of Weed... To put it simply, she's the final boss... Even Seraria-neesan, the Queen of Weed, can't go against her.
Every single expense in the budget has to be written down—literally down to the last coin—then submitted and approved. Of course, that's only natural since it's the hard-earned tax money of Weed's residents.
It's perfectly reasonable.
It really is.
BUT...
The agony of putting together a budget and painstakingly preparing all those documents, only to have them rejected and be told to redo them all over again...
She have no mercy at all.
Ratz-neesan, who is great with money, seems to get her documents approved on the first try, but everyone else has to rewrite theirs constantly.
Milly-neesan and Tori-neesan have even gone crying to her... Well, those two have a lot of subordinates, so redoing the paperwork isn't that difficult for them.
And then there's the exception: The Boss.
He always comes up with various events on a whim, but Eris-neesan herself is the one who puts the budget together for him.
As expected, love takes priority in this world.
...I see, love is the distortion at the root of the world.
"...Steve? Are you listening? I said I'm divorced twice."
"Huh!?"
Hearing the word "batsu" had made me remember all sorts of things.
But right now, I had to comfort Zargis.
Thinking that, I was about to open my mouth—
"It might come as a surprise, but I have already been married twice, and divorced twice."
"...Excuse me?"
Wait, "batsu" didn't mean "punished", but "divorces"!?
This Zargis?
This mad weirdo who gets absorbed in research and creates modified monsters?
"That's gotta be a lie. There's no way a weirdo like you could get married."
My true thoughts accidentally slipped out of my mouth.
"...Hearing that from you, Steve, is the height of offense. Though, I suppose I can understand why you would say that. But it's the truth."
"What... the hell?"
Even if they ended in divorce, this Zargis had actually been married!?
No, calm down. Keep calm.
This is advanced psychological warfare.
He's trying to shake me up... to do what, exactly?
"Well, if you ask whether there was any love involved, that's a difficult question for me to answer."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Let's see. Should I say they wanted to form a connection with my position as one of the Four Heavenly Kings?"
"...Ah."
That's unpleasant in its own way.
Marriages of convenience for power and status, huh?
"At least, the proposals came from the women themselves. They were from respectable families, too. I knew that marriage would become a hindrance to my research, but..."
"You accepted it?"
"Yes. If I had refused, those women—who were from fairly respectable families—would have been deemed useless. Honestly, both times, they came to my room in the middle of the night. Even if I pushed them away, they would have been treated as 'damaged goods,' my reputation would suffer, and the women would lose their place at home."
"Uwaah..."
That kind of marriage sounds terrible.
What I wanted was a warm, happy family like the Boss had.
"Well, fortunately, both of them had lovers they could trust."
"Lovers?"
"Yes. So I was able to take them in as my wives and then divorce them. That way, they weren't at fault. Everything could be blamed on me."
"And what happened to your ex-wives?"
"Safely reunited with their lovers—or rather, they achieved the outcome they desired. Although Black Flame, who only knows the superficial version of the story, absolutely despises me for it."
"Ah, so that's why Black-san always looked at you like he didn't like you."
"Yes. Anyway, after those experiences, I don't have much interest in lovers or marriage. I suppose that sounds like a luxury to you, Steve."
"...Man. I'm sorry for what I said."
"No need. Even I can say this much: there's no need to rush. I'm sure you'll eventually find someone suitable. If you rush, you might end up harboring people seeking power in your inner circle, just like I had to deal with."
"Thanks for the advice."
Ah, now that I think about it, the Boss's marriages weren't exactly motivated by a desire for power, but there were plenty of people who had been sent to him because they wanted his abilities—or wanted to restrict him.
And the Boss had somehow dealt with all of those troublesome situations.
'Beep, beep—'
While we were talking, a call came through.
"Ah, sorry. I'm getting a call."
"Did something happen? I didn't receive any notification."
"Who knows? I'm the only one being called, so it probably isn't anything too serious. It's probably just another request to send one of our conveniently useful goblin units somewhere."
"...You have my sympathy."
The caller was the Boss.
As expected, probably just asking for handyman reinforcements?
"Hello?"
『Oh, Steve. We've got a bit of a problem.』
See, I knew it.
"So, you want me to send a goblin squad again? There are still some left back in Weed, so if you set up the deployment paperwork and budget over there—"
My words cut off mid-sentence.
Because...
『How many usable land combat weapons do we currently have on hand?』
"Huh?"
Today is really a day where my language comprehension keeps malfunctioning.
I could have sworn the Boss just asked about modern military equipment.
『I said, land combat weapons. Modern weapons main, of course.』
"Wha—Wait, w-w-what do you mean, Boss!?"
I don't understand at all!?
Even if we're only talking about modern land weapons from Earth, that's overkill for this world!!
And for him to ask what's available...
『What do I mean? A situation has come up where we need to assemble Weed's land combat forces. Well, it's not something you can grasp immediately just by hearing about it, so go verify what we have. You're directly in charge of modern weapon management, right?』
"Yeah, well, yes. But what kind of situation!?"
『I'll explain that at the Weed conference room later. Come in an hour.』
"Understood-ssu."
The call ended.
"...That sounded like an extremely dangerous conversation."
"You didn't mishear."
"A situation serious enough to deploy Weed's modern weaponry..."
"For now, I'm going to check our usable weapons."
As I stood up from my seat, Zargis stood up as well.
"I will help you. I research weapons myself, so I shouldn't be a hindrance. In the worst-case scenario, we might even need to get unusable weapons operational."
"...That'd be a huge help."
The relaxed atmosphere from earlier had completely vanished.
Both of our faces were stiff at the mention of verifying combat readiness.
Because we were about to deploy an arsenal of weapons that had hardly ever been used in actual combat before.
"First, I'll call in the modern-weapons unit. Zargis, go to the weapons storage facility and check which weapons are operational. I'll contact them from here as well. You know where it is, right?"
"I do. I will take my leave first, then."
With that, Zargis teleported back to Weed ahead of me.
『Hello? What's up, Captain?』
On the communicator screen appeared Britt, lounging around.
He's the Number 2 of the Goblin Squad.
He's also a valuable asset capable of operating modern weaponry.
"Call in everyone from the modern-weapons unit. Once they're gathered, immediately check all the weapons that are ready for use. I mean all of them, okay? Zargis is already heading there, but make sure everything gets checked properly."
『Huh? W-Wait a second! Are you serious!?』
"It's no joke. The Boss gave the order. Make up a decent excuse to General Mist for now."
『...Understood. I'll call everyone in immediately and begin checking the weapons.』
As for the others...
Taking Mino-chan out would be a bad idea. Since he's stuck in Enaria dealing with receptions from high-ranking officials as a general.
In that case, it's John.
『...Hmm? Why are you calling me? Did you get dumped again? Eat a cucumber when that happens.』
"Eating a cucumber isn't going to heal my heart. I'm not some vegetable-loving pig."
『Oh? Picking a fight?』
"No, joke time's over. All members of the Modern Weapons Ops Unit have been summoned. We've been ordered to check every weapon currently available for deployment.."
『...Understood. I'll return to Weed immediately. What's the situation?』
"Not sure yet. The Boss said we'd get the details after gathering all the information in an hour. For now, take command of the unit. Zargis and Britt are checking which weapons are available."
『Got it. I'll cover them.』
As expected from someone I've known for so long, he moved into action immediately.
Now, I need to check the ammunition supply on the computer... Man, can we really get this done in an hour?
From there on, all we could do was throw ourselves into work... Jokes aside, neglecting to inspect our weapons directly affects whether we live or die. Even the usually laid-back members of the Goblin Unit were taking this seriously.
* * *
"Captain. Here's the report on the mounted weapons."
"And here's the report for portable firearms."
"There are no personnel shortages. Everyone is currently standing by."
I received the information from the three of them.
First was the inspection of the mounted weapons conducted by Britt.
"...Three M1 Abrams tanks are undergoing maintenance?"
"Yes. They've been under large-scale maintenance since the last exercise."
"Hmm. Well, can't be helped. After the siege operation, we got Big Sisters to formally approve them and secured the budget to increase our deployment numbers, but maintenance can't keep up, huh."
"Right. On the other hand, every armored vehicle is operational."
"That's good. Though they're M20s, so even if we get those World War II-era toys moving…"
"It was also a matter of cost. Their primary purpose was transportation."
"A 12.7mm round is basically a pea shooter against something on the level of a dragon."
"We'll have to make up for that with the portable firearms."
At Britt's words, I shifted my eyes to the portable firearms report next.
"No major problems with the portable firearms. The amount currently undergoing maintenance is within acceptable limits."
"Right. The question is how much ammunition and weaponry we have."
"That isn't a problem. Our budget increased, so we increased our ammunition stocks as well. It's more than we could possibly use up in a single mission. But if we're going to need resupply, we'll have to set up a separate transport unit."
"Couldn't everyone just put the ammunition in their Item Boxes? Everyone can do that, can't they?"
"Ah, Zargis wouldn't know this. The modern-weapons unit only carries the minimum amount of weapons and ammunition necessary. Well, we do keep a little extra in our Item Boxes."
"Why?"
"To prevent them from being captured. If one of us dies in battle, we recover the weapons and ammunition, compare them against the deployment records, and return everything accordingly. We also check for losses and theft."
"...I see. So being able to carry huge amounts of equipment is actually a problem."
"Exactly. Next John, how's the morale and physical condition of the unit?"
"No problems. Everyone is in their usual condition and ready to perform their duties."
"Good. Now, let's report to the Boss... Right, Brit, keep the others organized. John and I will go to the Boss and hear the details of the operation. What about you, Zargis?"
"I'll come as well. We may need a different perspective."
Well, judging from the reports, everything was in perfectly normal condition.
But if the Boss had called everyone in, that meant we were dealing with something seriously troublesome.
* * *
We met up with the Boss and handed over our reports.
The Boss immediately looked through the documents and confirmed everything.
"Good. Everything here is correct, right?"
"Yes, Boss."
"Then gather every weapon except those being used to defend the deployment gate and put them on standby. Oh, and bring a little more ammunition than usual, just like always."
"Understood. So, can we ask what happened?"
"Sure. To put it simply..."
The Boss quickly explained the reason behind this emergency assembly.
"An unknown enemy?"
"That's right. We don't know what kind of enemy is going to appear, so I've decided to rely heavily on ground forces. Besides, it's more efficient for us to fly around and shoot them ourselves when it comes to aerial combat."
"Well, that's true-ssu. The Dragon Unit might just become easy targets."
"Exactly. For ground combat, I can use my Dungeon Master skills to clear away obstacles all at once and create an environment that's ideal for exchanging fire. Terrain doesn't matter in aerial combat, after all."
"So that's why we're going with land combat."
"Well, if nothing happens, that'd be the best outcome."
"From what I've heard, though, having nothing happen would be a problem in its own way."
"True. But with this pattern... it wouldn't be surprising if something on the level of the Kaiju King showed up."
"...Why not leave it to the Japanese Ground Self-Defense Force?"
"They don't exist here! Besides, the JGSDF that has experience fighting the Kaiju King is from a completely different JGSDF."
He's talking about the JGSDF from that movie, right?
"There could also be a smaller but extremely powerful type, so take that possibility into account as well."
"Understood. That'd be troublesome in its own way."
"For now, tomorrow morning as planned, I'll take Amanda and Eoid... no, borrowing the power of Dragon Knight Amanda, we'll head to Cleana's country. Have all preparations completed by then."
"Understood... Wait, you're dragging those two into this?"
"Technically, we have to involve them. But if things get dangerous, we'll get them out of there first. Once the two of them have evacuated, we'll deploy."
"Oh. So you're going to have those two escape into Weed?"
"Well, only up to the deployment gate. After that, I intend to send them straight back to the Academy."
"I see. Then we'll get started on the preparations."
"Yeah. I'm counting on you."
With that, we parted ways with the Boss and began preparing.
"Still, if there really is something like the Kaiju King out there, it doesn't feel like we have much of a chance of winning."
"Well, we'll deal with that when it happens."
"Yeah. If it comes to that, we'll gather as much information as possible and survive."
""Well, we've been with the Boss for a long time.""
No matter what happens, we can trust him because it's the Boss.
Now then, I guess I'm about to become the first goblin in history to go monster-hunting.
Man... what on earth am I even doing in a world of swords and magic?
