Side: Poppuri Lancer - Headmaster of Lancer Magic Academy

"Ahhh... Crunch... crunch..."

At the moment, I was chewing on one of my prized hard candies.

Normally, I'd never do something like this.

After all, candy—especially sweets—aren't exactly cheap, even for someone like me, the academy headmaster.

Well, cheap candies exist, but what I'm eating right now are top-shelf sweets I'd been saving.

Exquisite hard candy, painstakingly crafted by a master artisan.

One piece of this candy costs enough to buy an iron sword. That should tell you just how expensive it is.

"Poppuri-sama, isn't it rather wasteful to chew such an expensive candy like that?"

The one speaking to me was Lara, an elf and the academy's vice headmaster.

It's true that demi-humans suffer unfair treatment on this continent, but that's not true across the board. Demi-humans naturally possess specialized capabilities in various fields compared to humans. Because of that, since ancient times, there have always been demi-humans who got along well with humans.

Well, since they're demi-humans, to protect themselves, they're often granted noble ranks and deployed as special units. That way, the country can manage the demi-humans while utilizing them as military assets, making it convenient for everyone.

Lara here is a noble from some country who is extremely proficient in magic, so when I came to this Academy, I scouted her to work as my right hand.

"...Quiet. It's fine; if I don't do this, I feel like I'm going to blow up everything in the area."

Lara's preachy tone was starting to irritate me.

Damn it, what is up with those men...!?

Crunch.

And then, I remembered.

Earlier today, while leisurely sucking on some cheap candy, one of our students had visited my office.

* * *

"Fufuhn~ I suppose it's about time I informed everyone about the transfer students~"

At the time, I thought there was still plenty of time, so I hadn't told anyone about the transfer students yet.

...But that was a total mistake.

There was a knock on the door, and as I was preparing documents, I let Samantha in.

She was a duke's daughter from the Kingdom of Lodei, exceptionally talented in magic—easily among the top ten students at this Academy.

"What brings you here? Submitting another duel request?"

This academy values strength above all else.

Well, the research department is a separate thing, but for mages, how well you can use magic in combat—in other words, your value as a military asset—directly affects your evaluation.

So unlike the research department, the magic department ranks students and grades them based on practical magic skills and a duel system.

Now, Samantha-chan here is quite the fighter, a promising rookie who can even pull off chantless magic. That's why I assumed she was applying for a duel.

"No, there were suspicious individuals in front of the Academy, so I drove them away, but..."

"Ah, good work with that. Well, I doubt there's any problem, but I'll hear your report."

This academy is merit-based, so even ordinary students are stronger than some soldiers. So students like Samantha chasing away suspicious individuals wasn't particularly unusual.

The reason it only happened occasionally was because the academy itself possessed military power comparable to an entire nation's army. Anyone trying to infiltrate a place like this is either brimming with absurd confidence or just a complete idiot.

That's why we barely even needed guards. They're mostly here for appearances. There was no risk of accidentally driving away an important noble, either. After all, important people look important, and if they get rejected they'd make a fuss, so we'd notice immediately.

So I naturally assumed she'd simply chased away another fool.

"They appeared to be mercenaries. Two young men with black hair."

"Hmm. Probably trying to recruit talented mages. If they can lure away our students, they'd gain capable fighters—and prestige."

"Yes, I thought so as well, so I deployed my magic and demanded a duel, at which point they withdrew without a fuss."

"Hahaha, you're quite mean, Samantha-chan. There aren't many who could beat you, after all. Anyway, thanks for the report. Seems there's no issue, so you're dismissed."

"Ah, excuse me. There was one suspicious detail... for some reason, those two claimed to be transfer students. Since I hadn't heard anything about that, I turned them away on my own authority. However, they handed me a letter and asked me to deliver it to the Headmaster."

"WHAT!?"

What did she just say!?

The transfer students from Jilva and Enaria are already here!? Nonono, why would two shabby-looking men be the transfer students!?

Wait, calm down. There's no way they are really transfer students... First, let's read the letter.

"Here it is."

The letter Samantha handed me was wrapped in plain white paper. Unsealing it, I found a letter inside stamped with the wax seals of both Jilva and Enaria.

Oh crap, crap, CRAP!?

Hurriedly reading through the letter, my fears were confirmed.

I've been framed...!

At this rate, the Academy is going to look completely in the wrong! Who uses a tactic like this under normal circumstances!?

"Um, is there a problem?"

"Samantha-chan, tell me everything about those two in detail!!"

"Eh?"

So I explained the gravity of the situation to Samantha-chan, and to prevent it from turning into a massive disaster, I tried to resolve things peacefully using a two-pronged strategy with cute Samantha-chan and myself.

Unfortunately... Those two men were completely beyond reason. No... We'd been dancing in the palm of their hands from the very beginning. They flipped the strategy I tried to use to settle things peacefully right back on me, plunging the Academy into an even worse position.

Well, I did get my revenge at the very end, though.

"However, reports say the Headmaster came back fake-crying again. You didn't try to force your way through another unreasonable demand, did you? Cleaning up after you is exhausting, so please stop."

Lara glared at me as she spoke.

Sigh... I wish I had been the one forcing unreasonable demands... I was the one who had unreasonable demands forced onto ME...

"It wasn't fake crying, it was real crying! I was completely out-argued! No joke, we're in a terribly bad situation!"

"...Are these reports really accurate?"

Lara's eyes went wide in shock before her expression turned dead serious.

"They are."

"...Then calling it 'terrible' is an understatement. Turning away official transfer students and the bearers of signed truce documents, plus a joint complaint letter signed by King Jilva and His Holiness Enaria. On top of that, the Headmaster stepped in to sweep it under the rug, only to get thoroughly out-argued in front of a huge crowd, making the situation even worse... If handled poorly, this Academy could get shut down, you know?"

"I know! That's why we need to finish preparations to receive the transfer students by tomorrow. Our defeat is already set in stone, but we have to mitigate the damage as much as possible!"

"Indeed. And if you understand that, then you've already...?"

"Yeah. We were turned away, but at the very end, I bawled my eyes out in front of the women who seem to be their companions. And those women are our target."

"What do you mean?"

"We pull those women into tomorrow's negotiations. We can't win against those two men in a battle of words. So we target the women who don't seem as sharp and gain the upper hand through them."

"Isn't that a gamble? I doubt women accompanying such sharp negotiators would be foolish."

Yeah, Lara is right.

But I had solid proof for this.

"You know my familiar, right? I had it keep watch to see if we could get any useful intel."

"...Using such distasteful methods again. If you're caught, the situation will get even worse, you know?"

"No way, the familiar is just a cat, there's no way they'll notice. In this continent, only a tiny handful of people can use scouts like familiars—mages like you and me."

"Hah... fine. And what were the results of your surveillance?"

"Ah, those women were scolding the two men who made me cry! I watched them all the way until 1:00 AM! Don't you think this works in my favor?"

"Indeed. If we play on their sympathy and push from there, I doubt they will impose overly harsh conditions."

"Right? So tomorrow—well, today—when they arrive, if those women aren't with them, say, 'I wish to apologize, so please bring everyone involved.' Samantha-chan won't be able to speak strongly to them after her blunder, after all."

"I see. Understood. Well, it's late, so please get some rest."

"I'll go to sleep after I eat this candy."

Saying that, I popped another candy into my mouth and crunched it down.

"...Hmph, so many things piling up when we're already so busy."

* * *

Side: Tori

Reflected on our Call screen was Poppuri-san leaving the room after saying those words.

"...I'm going to make that damn woman cry. Make her real-cry again."

"...Agreed. Making us play the role of scolding Yuki-san, and then calling us stupid on top of that..."

Behind me, Kaya and Riel were practically burning with rage.

I'm pretty sure I looked the exact same.

"Kirika, thanks for the surveillance. You can come back now."

『Understood. Returning now.』

Yuki-san said that and looked at us.

"So there you have it. The enemy has set her sights on my wives. I'll leave the showdown with the Headmaster inside the Academy to you guys."

"Leave it to us. I will thoroughly crush that damn woman who made Yuki-san sit on his knees and endure hours of meaningless scolding!"

Eris answered instantly.

"...Today was supposed to be my turn with Yuki-san. I'm going to kill her."

"""Eeeek!?"""

Including myself, Riel and Kaya, who had been burning with anger, took a step back after seeing the lightless void in Eris's eyes.

No, I mean, I can't forgive that person for making us put on an act to scold Yuki-san, but... um, killing her is a bit...

"Calm down, Eris, no killing! I'll make it up to you properly next time! So calm down, okay?"

"Understood. I will settle for severing her limbs."

"No, you're not understanding at all!!"

And so, since that tiny Headmaster pulled a petty trick, we put on a little performance of our own.

The opponent mistakenly believed we would be easy pickings because of it, intending to target us in tomorrow's negotiations.

Well, it was all in the palm of our hands from the very start.

You brought trouble to our Yuki-san.

Please bawl your eyes out for real this time. There will be no mercy.

People who can't apologize honestly are the worst, after all.

* * *

And so, thoroughly prepared, we stormed into the Academy.

Just as Poppuri-san planned, all of us were guided together into a room that looked like a conference hall.

We were given blatantly royal treatment.

The tea was top-tier for this continent, and the sweets were the same Though, compared to Weed and Yuki-san, it doesn't even come close!

"How is it? The tea and sweets we take pride in?"

"Yes, it's delicious."

As planned, Eris took the lead in responding first.

While all of us could hold a conversation, Eris was the most silver-tongued—and the most pissed off about this whole incident—so we had no choice but to let Eris take center stage.

...She's not going to kill her, right?

...She's not going to destroy the Academy, right?

"I see, that's wonderful! I feel like you and I will get along great."

"Yes, absolutely."

Eeekk... Eris's tone became unnaturally stiff!

Her eyes aren't smiling at all!

"So, now that we're friends, I have a quick favor to ask... would that be alright?"

"What might it be?"

"We acted very rudely toward you all yesterday. And as a gesture of apology, we served this delicious tea and sweets... but is there anything else you think we should do?"

Ah... she's deliberately trying to get a verbal commitment from Eris in this meeting to gain an advantage in the negotiation, or rather, to have Eris decide the conditions.

If Eris by any chance thoughtlessly said "It's fine already," that would go through.

No, even if she said "It's fine already" it wouldn't end there, but if she said something personal like wanting delicious food or a strong magic tool, they would prepare and hand it over immediately. Then it would be "We accepted your demands".

Though... Looking at how nervously Poppuri-san was watching Eris's expression, even she seemed uneasy.

"Let's see... may I speak freely?"

"Yes, yes, of course! Say whatever you'd like. We'll do everything possible to accommodate your wishes."

"Very well. First: demand that the Academy issue a formal public declaration to every allied and trading nation, acknowledging that the Academy treated the parties who had mutual confirmation and permission — in other words, us — improperly."

"Huh?"

"Second: issue an official apology to both the Kingdom of Jilva and the Holy Nation of Enaria for the unjust treatment."

"E-Eh?"

"Third: clearly present a resolution plan regarding this incident, implement measures to prevent recurrence, and impose appropriate disciplinary action against the current Headmaster for neglecting her duties."

"W-Wait!?"

"Fourth: issue a sincere apology to us, the directly affected parties, and broadcast the contents of said apology to all nations."

"W-Wait, stoooop!!"

Finally coming back to her senses, Poppuri-san frantically called a halt.

"Is something wrong? I am merely stating whatever I like, as requested."

"A-Ah... um... well, I meant like, isn't there something personally you'd like to have...?"

She's desperately trying to coax out a personal desire from Eris so she can use that as the sole condition!

Though, Eris's terms are about 50% more intense than what Yuki-san had originally planned... For the Academy side that wants to bury this, these are absolute conditions they can't accept.

"Ah, I see. Yes, there is."

"R-Really?! Please tell me! I'll prepare whatever it is!"

"Thank you very much. As expected of Headmaster Poppuri."

"Ah, leave it to me!"

Oh no... That's no good, Poppuri-san...

The look in Eris's eyes is the look of a predator.

"So you are willing not only to accept those conditions, but also to prepare a separate personal apology for us?"

"Eh? A-Ah, um..."

"Ara? Don't tell me... you intended to substitute a personal gift in place of an official apology for such a major diplomatic blunder?"

"N-No way! I-I will definitely have something prepared as a separate personal gesture!"

"I thought so. There's no way you would do something like attempting to sweep such a massive issue under the rug, right?"

Poppuri-san, just apologize quickly!

Otherwise, you're going to get stripped of everything you own!

Even Yuki-san had gone pale... Anyone could tell this had gone way too far!

"Although... my personal request is rather large. Perhaps I should reduce the official conditions to keep things balanced."

"R-Really?! I'll somehow fulfill that personal request, so could you please ease the conditions!?"

"Yes, of course. After all, aren't we friends? Isn't that right?"

"Y-Yes, yes! We're friends!!"

The photo of Eris's gentle smile from that moment would later be used to discipline the children... That's how terrifying it was.

And that "personal request" turned out to be at a level where simply accepting the original conditions would have been merciful by comparison.

* * *

And so, the one-sided negotiation meeting came to an end, and we prepared to leave the Academy...

"We were able to finalize a wonderful negotiation today. Thank you very much."

"T-Th... thank you... hic... very much..."

As you can see, the Headmaster was already crying for real.

Vice Headmaster Lara-san's composed smile was also gone, and her face was twitching.

Only Eris was smiling.

The rest of us could only look at the headmaster with pity.

"Then we'll be in your care from tomorrow onward."

"Ugh... hic... y-yes... looking forward... hic... to it..."

"And also, thinking your fake crying trick at the inn would work on another woman was your biggest mistake."

Ah...

She delivered the finishing blow.

"WAAAAAAHHH!! LARAAAAAA!!"

"H-Headmaster! P-Please compose yourself! W-We're still seeing our guests off—"

Looking at that, Eris smiled and said:

"Tomorrow, let's talk about settling this matter."

With that, we walked away from the Academy.

Behind us, Headmaster Poppuri bawled her eyes out even harder, while Vice-Headmaster Lara froze completely solid.

...She just picked the absolute worst opponent.

Eris works at the Weed Administrative Office, mainly handling accounting and registry management, but she's a super-versatile all-rounder who can assist with almost anything. Naturally, negotiations are one of her specialties.

She's learned a lot directly from Yuki-san, after all...

The Personal Requests Eris Forced Through:

* Do not interfere with actions toward us, the transfer students.

* Disclose magic research contents upon request.

* Exempt transfer students from basic classes upon request.

* The Headmaster will personally cover all living expenses during their six-month stay.

* Grant full access to all books in the Academy library.

* Provide a dedicated room for the transfer students to use freely.

* The Headmaster herself must personally resolve any trouble between transfer students and current students.

* Permit the use of newly developed magic tools.

* And various other demands.

In short... She basically turned the headmaster into her servant.

Yep... You should never make Eris angry.