Side: Yuki
"Pfft—!"
The boy sitting in front of me burst out laughing.
But that wasn't the end of it.
"Ahahahahaha!! Hee—my stomach hurts! W-What light novel opening is this from?! T-This is brutal, my stomach... ngh, ahahaha...!!"
Rolling around on the luxurious carpet while roaring with laughter was a boy who looked thoroughly ordinary, but was actually the King and Hero of the newly formed Empire of Rankus.
People throughout the land called him the Hero King... What is he, GaoGaiGar?
We met during the troubles at the Weed Foundation Festival, and he's my only fellow Japanese acquaintance in this world.
His name is Taiki Nakasato.
He was summoned to this other world as a Hero, endured being worked to the bone, and finally overthrew the tyrannical royal family.
But with the old king gone, he had to take the throne himself to rebuild the country. Because of that position, we can't officially visit each other in public. We're both high-profile figures representing our respective nations, after all.
Well... at least not openly.
Taiki is basically an otaku, but he wasn't an idiot. That's why I've told him about being the Dungeon Master and the truth behind the mana depletion crisis.
In fact, he happily accepted my Designation Protection, practically glowing with delight at being rendered immortal inside the dungeon. If outsiders ever found out, it might look like he submitted Rankus to Weed, but we've covered our tracks on that front, so there are no issues.
Anyway, setting all that aside, the reason I paid an incognito visit to a ruling monarch today was to discuss the exchange student situation at the Academy.
And, like a true Japanese otaku with deep knowledge of such tropes, he was currently rolling on the floor laughing his head off. It was a classic "Nice trope setup, bro" moment.
"Taiki-sama, um... what could possibly be so funny?"
"Your Majesty. You're being terribly rude to Yuki-dono. Honestly, laughing yourself sick when Yuki-dono has come to consult you... what are you thinking?"
Two people spoke up to address the laughing Hero-King.
One of them was Airi, Taiki's wife.
Back when Taiki was still the kingdom's errand-boy Hero, secretly scraping together money to survive, she'd looked after him.
Given the delicate political standing of the newly formed Rankus, marrying into nobility was out of the question.
Since Taiki had overthrown the tyrannical old Ranks monarchy out of righteous indignation, if he were to marry a noble's daughter, people would suspect that his actions were orchestrated by that noble's faction—a narrative that would severely damage the new regime.
So, from a political standpoint, he had no choice but to marry an ordinary commoner. Well, for diplomatic reasons in the future, he might take noble daughters as concubines, but his primary queen had to be a commoner.
The story of his marriage to Airi is famous not just in Rankus, but across all the nations connected through the dungeon.
A romantic tale of the Hero King himself bowing down to beg for her hand in marriage. I'll skip the details, but the tale of how she took care of him from the moment he arrived in this world got exaggerated into a full-blown romance.
The other person was Ruth, the Captain of the Rankus' Royal Guard.
He'd been at Taiki's side ever since the day the Hero was summoned. In fact, he helped a lot in turning Taiki's knowledge into reality, so own intellect and capability must be extraordinary.
However, because of that sharp mind, he was deeply dissatisfied with the old Rankus regime and voiced his criticisms multiple times. Ignored and isolated by the nobility, he was effectively banished to serve as the Hero's sidekick to get him out of the way. Taiki mentioned that the former royalty probably hoped Ruth would quietly die somewhere while traveling or fighting alongside the Hero.
Since he's such a reliable individual, he could have easily become the King of Rankus himself. However, because having "Hero Taiki" as the face of the nation was far more convenient for public support and international relations, things ended up like this.
Now then, time to bring this laughing Hero back to reality.
"'I will definitely come to get you.'"
"Gah!?"
Just a quiet murmur from me produced an instant reaction.
"'I have come to fulfill my promise.'"
"Stooop!! Hold on!! I'm done laughing, I swear!!"
Those are famous lines from a certain someone's love story.
They're even shown in Weed's theaters, and my wives make me say them as a form of bullying.
Just imitating them is painful enough for me—look at the damage on the actual person.
Just imitating them causes me physical agony, so as you can see, the original speaker suffered even more.
"I beg you!! Please stop!! I'll do anything you ask!!"
"Hmm?"
The Hero King bowing down in a full dogeza posture—a sight that must never be shown to foreign dignitaries.
By the way, that "Hmm?" didn't come from me—it came from his wife, Airi-san.
This is absolutely not a yaoi thing. And Airi's eyes had the look of a predator eyeing its prey.
"Alright, fine, I'll stop. I want to get down to main business anyway."
"Sigh... Yuki-san, that's a dirty way to threaten someone."
"You're the one who started rolling around laughing. Ah, but you did promise to do whatever I say, right?"
"Huh!?"
"Do whatever Airi-san asks. It may be embarrassing for you, but those words mean a lot to her."
"Thank you very much, Yuki-san! Taiki-sama, we'll take our time later, okay?"
"Damn you, Yuki-san... You set me up!"
Taiki immediately throws out a reference.
"You're indeed a very good friend to me... Don't take it personally. Blame your father for this."
I delivered the classic response, and we both smirked, exchanging a firm handshake.
However, the only ones who could follow this banter were Taiki-kun and myself. Airi-san, Ruth, Lea, and Jessica were all left staring blankly.
Some references can only be understood by fellow otaku.
It's truly a blessing to be able to drop these references even in another world.
"Um, why are they shaking hands...?"
"Who knows..."
Airi-san and Ria looked at us in confusion.
"What was that just now? Is it some kind of secret code unique to Japanese people?"
"My apologies. I do not quite understand either."
Jessica and Ruth were trying to analyze if there was a deeper meaning behind our exchange.
"So, what's the real issue? You didn't come all the way here just to report that you've entered the standard anime/light novel route, did you?"
"I wish it were that simple. From your perspective, you think events are definitely going to happen too, right?"
"Of course! If it was a normal Japanese school transfer, hoping for events would be a waste of time. But this is another world! On top of that, the new continent's mana is depleted, making actual magic users rare. Within that context, you're transferring into an elite, merit-based Magic Academy. Transferring there is practically screaming for story flags! It's the ultimate cliché trope!"
"Right...? I thought the same."
At this point, just enrolling is a massive flag.
Yet, my wives, Airi-san, and Ruth were all tilting their heads, completely unable to grasp the concept.
Well, to be fair, you can't really blame them.
"Even if school life goes smoothly, a troublesome place like that—full of elite talent and ancient records—would be a top-priority target for the faction trying to wipe out the inhabitants of the new continent, right? You're bound to get involved eventually. Looking at it positively, isn't it actually lucky you get to visit before their archives get burned down?"
Exactly.
The Holy Sword wielders seemed to use Enaria as their starting signal, but from here on out, they might disperse and attack various nations. There's no way they'd leave an academy full of ancient documents and powerful people alone. So going there was already inevitable.
"So, is your main business asking me to brainstorm every possible event that could happen? Though I doubt just knowing them will let us prevent them."
He wasn't wrong.
If we knew the clichés in advance, we could avoid some or eliminate the causes before they occurred. As long as we can reach them.
Yeah—there's no way I can handle it alone. And some events force you into them whether you like it or not.
"Sudden events can't be avoided, so... Hmm... if it were me, I'd either prepare someone to take the hit or deliberately split the event flags between multiple people."
"Figured you'd say that."
For the unavoidable ones, the only option is to offer a sacrifice to dodge them. Or prepare multiple event targets.
Which left me with only one obvious answer...
Sitting right in front of me was a fellow Japanese who possessed full otaku knowledge and understood every cliché event in existence.
"Ah, excuse me. I need to use the restroom..."
The Hero-King said that and tried to stand, but I wouldn't let him.
I gripped his shoulder firmly and said:
"Taiki-kun, didn't you say earlier that you wanted to stretch your wings? This is the perfect chance. I mean, experiencing classic light novel events firsthand doesn't happen every day, right?"
"No, no, no! I'm a spectator! A consumer-type otaku! I enjoy watching stories behind a screen or on a page, laughing and throwing out commentary! Besides, I don't have time for a hands-on experience! I'm a king, remember?! Who in their right mind voluntarily sticks their nose into obvious trouble!?"
He put power into his hand, trying to pry my grip off his shoulder.
Naturally, both he and I were putting a serious amount of strength into it.
However, I had already anticipated Taiki-kun reacting like this. He's the type who, just like me, wants to avoid hassle at all costs. So, time to drop the next card.
"Ruth, I'm thinking of having Taiki-kun go to the new continent using a doppelganger body. Any issues with that?"
"Huh? No, that shouldn't be a problem at all. Official duties can just be handled after he returns."
"Ruth, I just said I don't want to go!!"
"His Majesty says he doesn't want to, so..."
"I see, well if he refuses, it can't be helped. Though I heard the new continent's Academy has plenty of fine young ladies, making it a golden opportunity to build ties with the new continent's nobility and take in additional wives besides Airi-san. New continent nobles don't mean much over here, after all."
In that instant, Ruth's eyes snapped open wide.
The sleeping spirit of a dedicated statesman had awakened.
"Your Majesty!! You must absolutely assist Yuki-dono!! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! When official diplomatic ties are established with the new continent, our nation can gain a step ahead—and it is a golden opportunity to welcome concubines for Your Majesty!!"
"Whoa, what an unbelievable 180! Airi, you hate this idea, right!? It means less time together!"
Too naive. I immediately spoke up.
"Airi-san, why don't you come along as well? In a land where nobody knows either of you, you can enjoy life as a couple in temporary bodies to your heart's content."
"Taiki-sama, you absolutely must cooperate with Yuki-san!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Checkmate.
"Don't worry. If events concentrate on your side, I'll provide backup."
"Sigh... Well, I'd probably do the same in your shoes. Fine, I get it..."
Nice, now we can spread out the event triggers.
Even if events concentrate, having two people with trope knowledge means handling them will be way easier.
Heheh, like hell I'm gonna let myself get dragged into a cliché school life.
"Listen carefully: break every flag you can. That's why I allowed your wife to tag along."
"I see. So that's your intention. Having your partner there from the beginning would prevent any 'easy heroine' situations after all."
"Exactly. Our enrollment is already guaranteed. I considered disguising ourselves as teachers or staff, but the requirements are pretty strict."
"Teachers and staff are prone to their own tropes anyway. Besides, if you're only planning to stay for six months, getting hired just to quit would leave me feeling incredibly guilty."
"Yeah, as a working adult that would be a failure. So pretending to be students is the best option."
"Ah—then what about the classic meritocracy duel cliché? It's 100% coming. Arrogant handsome guys or high-and-mighty noble daughters refusing to accept our enrollment."
"If that happens, I'm packing up and going home."
"Huh?"
"No, more precisely, we move to an inn and hand a formal complaint letter to the Headmaster. Since our enrollment is a royal request, students complaining about it is an absolute taboo. That should shut them up."
"Ah, right. We're entering under royal recommendation from Jilva. Refusing that isn't an option. But what if the Headmaster asks us to accept a duel just to satisfy the students?"
"In that case, we attach conditions to the duel for the Headmaster."
"Ah, got it. Since they're making us go through extra trouble, we make them concede to what we want."
"Exactly. Fundamentally it's the headmaster's responsibility for not controlling the students, so we can make various demands."
"And... what if there's already a 'protagonist' figure at the school before we arrive?"
"That depends on where they stand. If they get in our way, we crush them. If they're about to drag us into trouble, we nip the cause in the bud immediately."
"Whoa, that sounds insanely fun. You're gonna be total story-breakers, huh? Is it really okay to break the flags for the protagonist getting stronger or bonding with the heroine?"
"In that case, Taiki-kun, you can take responsibility and become the protagonist instead."
"I respectfully decline."
"You've got quite the personality."
"Look who's talking!"
We both shared a mischievous laugh.
"I think the two of them are plotting something terrible."
"Yes. That look on Taiki-sama's face... he is thinking of something truly wicked."
Calling it wicked is downright rude.
We're just discussing strategies to handle trouble we know is coming. That's right, so we aren't doing anything wrong at all.
Now then, prepare yourselves, tropes.
We will smash every last one of you.
We prefer being spectators. Becoming the main characters ourselves is something we'd rather avoid.
"By the way, Yuki-san... what if the protagonist has nothing to do with us?"
"Then, of course, we sit back and enjoy the show. A real-life, natural-born tsundere is a rare spectacle, after all."
"As expected!! Having someone act tsundere at a maid cafe just makes you cringe, but I'd love to see a genuine, natural-born tsundere in the wild!!"
"Right?!"
"Totally!!"
Ah, in that case, we definitely need to record it on video. Using a camera might be too obvious, though. We should use a secret recording spell.
Man, now I'm actually starting to look forward to this.
