After Boss handed things over to the monster officers and went home—
A fierce battle unfolded inside the dungeon that the Enaria army had entered.
In the conference room on the dungeon's lowest floor, all of the executives—the monsters considered Weed's strongest fighting force—had gathered.
There was me, Steve. Despite being a goblin, a race known as the weakest, I can slaughter dragons.
Britt, who serves as my vice-captain.
Then there was Slakichi-san, a slime—another supposedly weakest race—who completely shut down a Demon King.
John from the farm, an Orc who eats nothing but vegetables.
And Mino-chan, a Blood Minotaur who usually plays with the kids at school but is actually the strongest Minotaur around.
These are the proud Monster Elite Four of Weed.
Well, I actually just came up with that name just now.
Of course, Britt is excluded.
Right now, we are wrapped in an atmosphere of extreme tension.
Peering at each other's faces, we quietly surround the table, our eyes fixed intensely on the items being laid down one by one.
Flip.
"Six."
Flip.
"Seven."
Flip.
"Eight."
Flip.
"Nine."
At that moment, Slakichi-san's hand... or rather, body, stops.
"Steve, Doubt."
With those words, the card is flipped face up. The number written on it is 12.
"Gyahhhh!? How did you know-ssu!?"
The massive pile of cards that had accumulated on the table is pushed right in front of me.
The game called Cheat (Doubt) is a card game where... well, explaining it every single time is a pain. Just Google it, ssu. I mean, aren't there more people who know it than don't?
"No reason, just felt like it."
"...Are you for real-ssu? You didn't use that squishy body of yours to cheat, did you?"
"Why would I bother cheating over something like this? Anyway, I'm out."
Chatting away like that, Slakichi-san cleared his hand first to take the top spot.
"Now then, I'll take this."
Saying that, Slakichi-san used his privilege as the first-place winner to choose his favorite snack first.
Needless to say, these snacks were bought from the shops in Weed with our own pocket money.
"Ahhh, you're taking that one, ssu?"
"Hm? Oh, this is one of those taiyaki from the food stalls?"
"Yeah, yeah. I worked hard lining up for those-ssu. Let's see, I think it contains black bean paste, white bean paste, custard, and chocolate? Something like that-ssu."
"I can't tell just by looking at them."
"...True-ssu. Well, just pick one at random... Oh, and I'm out too."
The final rankings were:
1. Slakichi-san
2. Mino-chan
3. Me
4. John
5. Britt
"Ah, man, I have no luck. Even though the Captain collected a massive pile of cards."
"That's just how luck works, be."
In the end, since the ranking was settled while Slakichi-san was still agonizing over which taiyaki to take, we decided to turn eating them into a game of Russian roulette.
Naturally, Slakichi-san, who finished first, had the right to choose his taiyaki first.
"Come to think of it, is going first actually an advantage?"
"Who knows? It's not like a real Russian roulette where your head goes 'bam'."
"True enough. I wanted the black bean paste, but this is a game too. I'll go with this one."
"Then I'll take this one-ssu."
"I'm taking this one, be."
"...There aren't any cucumber-filled taiyaki, right?"
"Don't say such terrifying things, John!"
Because John blurted out something so horrific, I ended up staring intently at my taiyaki-ssu.
Geez, this is why vegetarian Orcs are a pain!
"Oh, black bean paste. I'm lucky."
"Good for you-ssu. Mine is chocolate."
"Mine is custard, be."
"I got white bean paste."
"I got black bean paste too."
Everyone reported what was inside their taiyaki while using simple fire magic like an easy microwave—well, more like an oven—to warm them up before eating.
Magic sure is convenient.
"Oh? Were there two black bean paste ones?"
"Ah, looks like it-ssu. I just ordered a random mix, so I forgot. I was in a rush, ssu."
"Come to think of it, it was a pretty sudden summons."
"How did you even find the time to go shopping in Weed?"
"Well, I just happened to be back in Weed to drop off some reports-ssu."
"Ah, I see."
I contacted Zargis, left things to him, went shopping, and came straight here.
When I heard the reason, it was important, so I figured we'd end up stuck with the short end of the stick for a long battle anyway.
"Still, Yuki is finally becoming a father, huh?"
"Well, the Boss looks happy, so I don't mind-ssu."
"Yeah. I want the Boss to be as happy as possible, be yo."
"Agreed. He's been saddled with an incredibly heavy job by God, so it's a good thing for him to have a precious place where he truly belongs. Like my fields for me."
"...I think that's a whole different issue, though."
Tell him, Britt! Keep telling him how weird that vegetarian mindset is.
"Well, we'll probably get a report about the Boss today or tomorrow. Like, 'the baby is born!'"
"True, be."
"Therefore, shouldn't we decide who takes a nap first? There's no point in all of us monitoring the dungeon together, right?"
"Ah, true-ssu. It seems they panicked and summoned us all because the Boss wouldn't be around, but there's no need for everyone to stay awake."
"In fact, it's bad because everyone will just waste their energy. Like Slakichi said, anyone who wants to take a nap can go ahead and sleep first."
John said that, but nobody voiced a desire to sleep, and a blanket of silence fell over the room.
"""Pfft."""
Then, everyone burst out laughing simultaneously.
"What the? In the end, everyone just wants to wait for the birth report-ssu?"
"Of course. Because we're at the workplace, we want to hear this kind of celebratory news immediately."
"Yeah. Joyful things are meant to be shared by everyone, be yo. It'd be a waste to be asleep."
"Then shall we play a game while we wait? Want to keep playing cards?"
"No, honestly, we're tired of that. How about a board game like The Game of Life?"
"Sounds good. We have a TV, so let's just put something on in the background to kill time."
With that, everyone began preparing to relax and play in their own way.
Well, well, the night is still very young-ssu.
In fact, we should probably prepare for an all-nighter.
"We've got the console. Want to play Momotaro Dentetsu?"
"""Don't. That game starts real fights."""
We instantly shot down Britt's suggestion.
"...Are you serious? You guys actually got into a real fight?"
"That was Steve's fault. He teamed up with everyone to stick the Poverty God on me."
"I did nothing wrong-ssu! That's just how the battlefield works-ssu!!"
"...I see. So games like that really are a bad idea for you people."
No, Britt....
It's just that this orc has absolutely no sense of restraint-ssu.
